Saturday, March 15, 2008

On Being Kind to Yourself

Where is the line between loving credence and excess - in other words, how make you cognize when you necessitate a clinch as opposing to a boot up the butt?

I've been in and out of bed this hebdomad with a suffering summertime cold, full with fevers, chills, and adequate tissues to maintain the Kleenex Company in concern for old age to come. Each day, I have got eavesdropped on the same argument in my caput - make I force through my symptoms (it's all in the mind, you know!) and trust that I'll be fine, or make I listen to my symptoms, take it easy, and let my organic structure the time, space, and energy to heal?

My sense is that it is cultural, at least amongst us work force folk, to see "being sort to ourselves" as roughly kindred to dressing up in women's clothes and calling ourselves 'Nancy'. In fact, I retrieve an episode of a television show I was in where the Welshman bartender told my fictional character that he wasn't going to be sort to himself because he was "a existent adult male - broken and destroyed, but a existent adult male nonetheless!"

This weekend, I decided to see what would go on if I went all the manner with being sort to myself. Every clip I was debating as to whether or not to make something, I asked myself "if I was being sort to myself, what would I take to do?" My fearfulness was that I would weave up doing nothing, and that my full life would fall apart from inactivity, inertia, and atrophy. (Technically, this would probably take longer than a weekend, but I wasn't really thinking straight!).

What actually happened was this:

1. I taught a teleclass, performed in a study comedy show, helped my married woman clear up the garden, put up the new sprinkler system, went for a walking with my kids, watched the football, napped frequently, and worked on my website.

2. I ignored most incoming. What I have got discovered in those minutes where I allowed myself to "be sort to myself" is that rather than it leading to my overindulging myself, it usually led to my getting up and doing something more quickly. Being sort to myself didn't intend I stayed in bed longer, just that I was more than gentle in how I got myself out of bed.

In fact, writing today's tip is an illustration of my beingness sort to myself - because I cognize I'd experience even worse if I didn't! This is what my friend and co-worker Michele Lisenbury Christensen names "Snake Abdomen Productivity".

On those years where you experience "lower than a snake's belly", rather than attempting to juggernaut over your temper as if it were 'business as usual', or giving in to the stagnation and doing nil but transmission channel breaker while lying in bed, strip your twenty-four hours down to the bare essentials:

What will do you experience EVEN worse if it doesn't acquire done?

If today is one of THOSE days, seek the followers now. If not, compose a gluey short letter that states "In lawsuit of horrible, serpent abdomen type day, reappraisal 'On Being Kind to and topographic point it on your computing machine or in your calendar or on your distant control where you'll actually see it on said atrocious day.)

1. Take a deep breath. Admit that you currently have got entree to very few resources (nerves, encephalon cells, shreds of energy) with which to confront the possible undertakings of the day. You don't have got to indulge that small voice that says, 'Go back to bed -you'll acquire nil done at all today!' Just gently admit that today is not going to be one of your shining memories of productiveness and good cheer. So be it. Those years wouldn't stand up out if it weren't for years like this!

2. Low years are no years for ambition. Just jump right over your would-have-been to make listing and pare down it down to ONLY those actions you MUST take before inactivity would make you experience worse than you already do. If you can unclutter from your metaphorical plate those undertakings that will, if left undone be your undoing, you win.

4. Squeeze out the determination, energy, and clip required by these tasks. Bash not inquire yourself whether you experience like doing them. Just make them, acquire them over with, and travel to bed!

Just for today, don't have got fun. Don't larn heaps. Only acquire done what would otherwise turn a icky twenty-four hours into a too bad one. You have got my permission to experience lousy, even in action. And isn't that just a small spot fun? :-)

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